It's that time of the year...

I love the holidays.  I love being with family.  I love eating lots of yummy food.  I especially love eating lots of yummy desserts.  I love all the celebrations and festivities.  I love the decorations, the lights, the music.  I could go on...

However, the holidays also really stress me out.

I usually like to try to help with food in some way.  I like to make fun holiday food.  In recent years I typically make the mashed potatoes for my family's Thanksgiving (love them BTW) which isn't that much, but somehow I still stress.  Brandon & I used to decorate Christmas cookies for everyone, but recently I've only gotten around to making my pumpkin gingerbread because I get stressed out trying to find the time to do everything.  I love making these things, but for some reason, I let them also stress me out.

I also stress majorly about gifts.  I always want to give the perfect gift to each person.  We've always been on a budget, but this year we are REALLY on a budget now that we are down to 1 income, and it's totally stressing me out.  I know that buying expensive things isn't necessarily the perfect gift (unless it's for my hubby - ha!).  But, I hold myself to this idea that I can come up with something thoughtful, creative, something that each person will just love, and relatively inexpensive.  Ultimately though, every year I fail (at least in my mind).  I might find a couple people gifts like that, but for most, I end up having to just get something that I'm not completely satisfied or I spend outside what we set for our budget.  I know it's ridiculous to expect to find the perfect gift for everyone.  For me, gifts aren't about what you're actually getting.  It truly is the thought that counts.  I don't know how others feel - they may feel the same way or they may actually care about what the gift is.  Because it's the thought that counts to me, I tend to want to give gifts in that manner as well, but since I don't really know how the people I'm giving it to feel, I stress over whether it's right or not.  Yes, I am aware that I shouldn't make such a big deal, but somehow I can't seem to do that.  (And for any family reading this - I hope this doesn't make me look terrible/crazy/etc.  My blog is somewhat of a place for me to not only share the fun things, it's also a place for me to reflect, and to vent.  Maybe just putting it in words will help me to stress less - ha!)

And this year, there's the added stress/excitement of Logan's 1st birthday.  We are only going to do a small family thing, so we are trying to keep it simple and costs low, but I also have visions of what I want it to be like - and they all take time and money.  Neither of which, I have much of.  I know Logan won't remember any of it, but I still feel like everything needs to be perfect, go smoothly, etc.  I know that won't happen, but I still seem to hold myself to ridiculous standards.

I started this post about 2 weeks ago, but am just now getting around to finishing it.  It may seem weird, but I think it didn't get finished because God needed to show me something first.  I read this blog post tonight, which helped to show me I'm not alone and to give me some perspective.  I especially like the quote at the end from this blog "Whenever Christmas begins to burden, it’s a sign that I’ve taken on something of the world and not of Christ. Any weight in Christmas has to be of this world."

So my goal in all of this, is to try to step back, not get so stressed, and enjoy the holidays for what they are meant to be - like being thankful for the things I have at Thanksgiving (thankful that I am physically & financially able to make the mashed potatoes no matter how they come out - ha!), remembering the true meaning for Christmas (Christ is the gift so what we give, really doesn't matter), and celebrating the past year that I have had with my sweet boy (we aren't guaranteed tomorrow - so each day, week, month, year that we have together is precious).