Dear Baby...

Dear Sweet Baby,

Tomorrow will be your birthday!  We have waited so long for you and thought for sure you would be here by now.  We are so thankful that you had the full time to grow and develop but we are ready and excited to meet you!  You have been desired and loved from before we knew you existed, and I am thankful that God gave you to our family!

Just like your big brother & sister, our prayer and desire for you is that God will make Himself known to you, that you will desire to know God more and that you will have a relationship with Him.  These are things that have helped your Mommy & Daddy, and will also help you throughout your life if you will trust and lean on God in the good times and bad.

I am so excited to have you join our family and see you with your big brother and sister.  They already love you so much even though they have not met you yet!  You have no idea just how loved you really are!

I love you so much sweet baby and I cannot wait to hold you, snuggle you and show you just how loved you are!

Love,



Dear Logan,

I am so excited to see you become a big brother, again!  You have been a wonderful big brother to Abigail and it makes my heart so happy to see how much you love and care for your sisters.

It has been so fun seeing your excitement over a new baby brother or sister.  You have been so sweet asking how the baby is doing and getting excited as it has gotten closer to time to meet the baby.

I know you will continue to be an amazing big brother to Abigail and your new brother or sister and I cannot wait to see how your relationships grow.

You are my big boy now, but you'll still always be my baby too.  I love you so much!!

Love,


Dear Abigail,

You have loved babies from the time you were still a little baby.  You have been so excited about having a new baby brother or sister and I know you will help Mommy take good care of him/her.

I know this may be a hard transition for you to have to share Mommy more than you are used to, but you have a love that is special that others can't help but notice and I know you will show that love to your baby brother or sister too.

My prayer is that you and Logan will love your new sibling as much as you love each other.  I pray that your bond will only continue to grow together for all 3 of you.

I love you sweet girl, more than you will ever know, and that will never change!

Love,

2 Years...

This is just a mess of thoughts all strung together but it's what is on my mind & I needed to put it somewhere...

Two years ago today, I realized we were losing our 2nd child.  Today I am missing/wondering about/longing to have known the sweet, tiny baby that we lost.  I know God's plan is greater than our own as hard as it is to understand/accept at times.  I also know we wouldn't have Abigail had we not lost that baby, but is it so wrong to wish we could have both here with us on this earth?  I hardly talked about the miscarriage with anyone, even family.  Some of it was just because it hurt too much and I don't like to cry in front of others.  I wanted to appear strong, but it was physically, mentally & emotionally hard.  Some of it was out of guilt that someone would think I was crazy for being so upset. We were only 6 weeks along, had not even told family yet and had only known for less than a week ourselves.  I was worried people wouldn't consider it as much of a life as I did & would think that I should just "get over it" and "move on."  But it was a life.  It was a tiny tiny baby.  It was a loved & wanted.  I thought people might think that since we had not known the baby for very long that it wouldn't be the same as losing a child.  It is still the loss of a child.  While it may not have the same length of time for the healing process that someone who lost a baby at a much later time would have, I would consider the initial pain of the loss to be the same.  Realizing this baby you already love will no longer be growing inside you, you'll never get to hold it, you'll never get to let it know just how much you love it...so many nevers.  It was actually a surprise baby, which I had wanted and prayed that our 2nd baby would maybe come that way because we tried for 11 months before getting pregnant with Logan and that was so hard for me.  I wanted desperately to not go through the waiting/hoping/disappointment/repeat game again.  I thought God had answered my prayer...and really He had...but I was so confused why He would do that, only to take it away.  I was heartbroken.

He was due on Brandon's birthday.  I thought that was pretty cool.  I say "he" because I'm convinced it was a boy.  My Dad has this silly little thing for calculating what the sex of the baby will be & he has been right for both of my kids & both of my nieces (and lots of others too!).  I think Logan would have liked having a little brother.  I wonder what it would have been like with 2 boys.  Abigail is such an active little girl, I feel like it can't be much crazier with 2 boys than it is with her & Logan.  Maybe my boy would have been the calm child...or maybe we're just destined to not have any calm children.  It may not be in our genetics.  Ha!  I wonder what he would have looked like.  Would he have had lots of hair like Logan?  Would he have my blue eyes?  Would he have dark hair like both Logan & Abigail, or lighter like mine was when I was a child.  Or maybe even red like his Great Grandpa and his Gigi. The one thing I do know is I would have loved him no matter what. 


The more I think about the loss of our baby the more my heart aches that not everyone views it as a life worth giving them a chance to grow/live.  I just don't understand how people can truly feel like it's ok to purposely end a life just because it is so tiny & inside it's mother rather than in "the real world."  I so badly want that little life back that I lost, yet some want so badly to get rid of the life inside them that they will deny that it truly is a life.  I just don't understand.  Why do I have to lose the life I so badly want to keep, yet they get a life that they can choose to end?

Last year, around this time, my mom's sweet bible study ladies prayed over us and gave me this sweet gift.  It's a little stained glass angel & candle.  When I see it, I think about our sweet baby and I like to think that he is in the arms of an angel.  It brings me comfort.  I don't really know what Heaven will be like, but I sure hope we'll be able to meet this precious, beautiful child of ours.

I don't really know where I'm going with this.  Just a lot of thoughts & emotions and I just wanted somewhere to throw it all.  It's kind of healing in a way I guess.  I have no idea if it even all flows or sounds coherent.  But, I do know, I'm thankful for this little life, and for the short time that I was able to love him.

6 Months

Abigail,

You are 6 months old!  I cannot believe it has been half a year since you arrived.  You weigh 18 pounds exactly (81st percentile), and are 27 inches long (89th percentile).  The nurse said your head size is 17 inches (77th percentile), but you were wiggling and I don't think she measured correctly.  That was only up 1/4 inch from 4 months and when I measured later I got 17 1/2 inches.

You are in size 3 diapers and size 3-6 month clothes, but tomorrow I am making myself get your 9 month stuff out & washed because you are squeezing into the 3-6 month stuff.  I should have done that a month ago!

You have been up to a LOT this month.  About a week after your 5 month birthday you started army crawling.  Just this week, you started crawling on your hands and knees, and can also go from crawling/on your tummy to sitting.  You are trying VERY hard to pull up on things too.  You haven't quite got it down yet, but it is coming SOON!  Daddy lowered the mattress in your crib, just in case.  You are keeping your momma busy & tired!

This month, your cousin, Maryellen, has started spending the day with us during the week while Aunt Marmar & Uncle Mark are at work.  You are trying so hard to keep up with the big kids!  You love them both so much and they love you too! (except when you grab them, or pull their hair, or get their toys, ha!)

You are doing so much better with your eating this month.  Mommy stopped eating milk, and later soy, and that seems to have stopped the screaming while you eat.  However, you're having some really yucky diapers & are still not sleeping at night.  Hopefully we'll get this all figured out soon.

Your smile just lights up a room, but sometimes you can be pretty stingy with it.  Other times you're super smiley.  It is quite funny though when you're in your serious/studying mood.

You LOVE the puppy dogs.  If you're being fussy, I just have to let the doggies out to play with you and you get happy for a while.

We gave you oatmeal & rice cereal for the first time this week, but you are NOT a fan.  You have seemed so interested in eating, but you will only eat a little bit of cereal before you start to refuse it all together.  You are much more interested in eating your bib.  Ha!  Hopefully when we start fruits & veggies, you will like those better.

You still just love your brother so much (I hope it always stays that way).  You are always interested in what he is doing and in his toys.  He is starting to come around to realizing that you can be fun too and he will sometimes do things to try to get you to laugh or smile.  I love seeing you two "play" together!

I still cannot believe that 6 months has gone by since I first held you in my arms.  You have brought so much more joy, love, laughter and cuddles into our lives that I had no idea we even needed.  I love you so so so very much!

Love,

5 months

Abigail,

You are 5 months old!  Every month just goes by way too fast!  I don't have any official stats for you, but I'm sure you've probably grown at least a half to a full inch and probably weigh somewhere between 16 & 17 pounds.  You are a big girl, but you definitely aren't keeping up with how fast your big brother grew.

You are a full sitter now.  You have been working hard all month and in the last week you have gotten really steady.  Such a big girl!

The last month has been a rough one.  You have not been a happy eater, and you have not been a good sleeper.  Mommy is trying lots of things, and working very hard to figure out what is going on so everyone can be happy & well rested again :)

You had been sleeping 7 hours at night, but now I'm lucky if you make it 4.  Lately, I have been having to feed you twice a night, but if I'm lucky, I only have to do it once.  Sometimes, in addition to feedings, I also have to go in and give you your paci.  I sure hope you start feeling better & sleeping better soon!

You are still in 3-6 month clothes, but you fill them out quite nicely.  It might be time to move to the next size soon.

You are wearing size 3 diapers, but only because we ran out of 2's and I didn't feel like buying more.  You were on the border with needing the next size anyway.

You seem to like the Around We Go even though you aren't big enough to move to the different stations yet.  You sure do have fun playing the keyboard though!

You have become quite the noisy little girl.  You have figured out how to scream/squeal and you will do this when you are happy or mad.  You often make a growling noise and it is so funny to me.  You also recently figured out how to spit and make raspberries.  You are a silly little girl! 

You had your first "swim" in Grandma & Papa's pool, but you did not stay in long because you were not a fan.

You are such a joy to us all and I am so proud to be your Mommy!  You are growing and changing so fast and I am trying to enjoy every stage before it passes.  Sometimes I sure wish you'd slow down a little though ;-)  I love you so very much sweet girl!!

Love,
 

4 months

I know this is over a month late, but better late than never.  I've had it typed, as usual, but the uploading always takes me forever.  Sorry! Five month post will hopefully be coming soon.

Abigail,

You are 4 months old!  You weigh 15 pounds 10 ounces (78th percentile), are 26 inches long (96th percentile), and your head circumference is 16 3/4 inches (93rd percentile).  You are a big girl!

You still wear size 2 diapers, but during the day (when we are home), you are wearing cloth diapers.  You are still in size 3-6 month clothes, but I'm not sure if we will make it another full month with them.  You are getting long for some and I have a feeling you may grow out of them soon.

You had just started rolling from your tummy to your back occasionally right around your 3 month birthday.  On July 6th, late in the evening, you rolled over from your back to your tummy & you have been rolling all over the place since then.  Mommy was all by herself with you when it happened and I managed to get a video since you kept rolling over.  I was able to send it to Daddy & your grandparents so they could share in my joy :)  It is always exciting when you learn new things, but it's also bittersweet for Mommy.  I'm not ready for you to be a big girl, and being mobile makes you more of a big girl than a baby.  Slow down sweet girl!

You are definitely teething.  You are starting to drool a lot (but not as much as your brother did!) and your hands/fingers are almost constantly in your mouth.  You really like the little icy teethers.

You are so strong and are trying very hard to sit up on your own.  I'm thinking by the end of this month we may have a full sitter.

Your brother is probably your favorite person.  He can make you laugh like no one else can when he wants to.  You smile so big any time he talks to you, you follow him with your eyes when he's around, and if he sings to you when you are upset, it makes you stop fussing.  I hope you will always love your brother this much!

You have become quite the squealer.  When you are happy you are very vocal and let out lots of shrieks & squeals.  You are especially happy after you eat, on the changing table & most of the time when you wake up.

You love to grab things.  If I have anything in my hands while I'm holding you, you want it.  You will always try to get it.  You can pick up your toys, grab your toys on your gym, and you have started grabbing your paci out of your mouth and are getting pretty good at trying to put it back in.

Towards the beginning of this month you started grabbing your feet and now you LOVE to put your feet in your mouth.  I'm so mad at myself for not getting a picture of this.  I will have to be sure to take one this month.

(I am super mad at myself because apparently this is the only picture I've taken of you this month on our camera.)



The virus you had right before your 3 month birthday took a while to fully get out of your system.  You were congested and snotty for weeks, and it has made you regress in your sleeping at night.  You now wake up twice to eat & at other times in the night you wake up & need your paci.  You have been back & forth between your crib and your rock n play.  We kept having to put you back in the rock n play because your congestion was so bad & it kept you elevated.  We have had to move you full time to your crib though because you kept trying to squirm out of the rock n play.   We also had to take the miracle blanket away because you were trying to roll over while you were swaddled and that did not seem very safe to me.  It has not make your sleeping any worse, but unfortunately it also hasn't made it better :)

Any time the camera is out, you get super serious.  You just will not smile for the camera (hence the monthly photo without that super cute smile of yours).  If it's just you and a person, you give the biggest, sweetest smiles, but you will NOT give us those for the camera.  I need your sweet smiles documented, so you need to start cooperating ;-)

Here are a few pics from a photoshoot we tried at Gigi's house, and you just would not look at the camera or smile.  Silly girl!

You are my sweet little angel and I am so thankful to have you in our lives.  I love watching you grow and learn every day.  I am looking forward to all that is to come even though I do wish it would slow down a little :)  I love you very much sweet girl!

3 months

Abigail,

You are 3 months old!! At the doctor on Tuesday you were 13 pounds 15.5 ounces and are about 26 inches long (used a tape measure to guess so it may be a little off).

We went to the doctor on Tuesday because you had your very first fever :(  It makes Mommy so sad for you to be sick.  You are also starting to cough and get a little bit congested.  I hope this goes away soon!

You wear size 3-6 months clothes and size 2 diapers.  You also are wearing cloth diapers most days we are home.  Aunt Marmar let us borrow some to try and surprisingly Mommy really doesn't mind them.

You like to make spit bubbles and are drooling a little bit more.

Your hands are almost always in your mouth when you are awake & happy.  I think you are teething, so you enjoy chomping on them.  This makes you very slobbery.  Ha!

You LOVE to talk.  Especially when you are being changed and when I am swaddling you before bed.  You can be so sleepy that you're almost asleep but as soon as I lay you down to swaddle you, you light up and start jabbering away.  Sometimes I'm worried you're so loud you'll wake your brother up.

You want to sit up all the time.  You have such a strong upper body and are always trying to get in the upright position if someone lays you back or puts you in a reclining position.  Because of this we started using the bumbo seat with you, and you really seem to like it.  You prefer it to the bouncy seat.

You think your big brother is pretty cool.  If he is close to you, talks to you, sings to you, etc. you just stare and smile at him.  It is so sweet!

You LOVE your baby gym, just like your big brother did.  You have starting reaching for, and even grabbing the toys that hang from it.

You rolled over from your tummy to your back about a week ago, but you haven't done it again since.  Edit: The day after you turned 3 months old you rolled over twice from your tummy to your back.  Once for Daddy and one time for Mommy.  Looks like maybe you're going to start doing it more :)

You just discovered you can grab/hold your legs/feet on Father's Day and have been doing it ever since.  Any time I lay you flat your feet go straight into your hands.  This makes diaper changing much more difficult.  Ha!

You are such a sweet sweet baby girl and I am so proud to call you mine :)  I am so thankful for each day with you.  I love you so very very much!

Love,

2 months

Abigail,

You are 2 months old!!  At your appointment today you weighed 12 pounds 9 ounces (84th percentile), were 23 inches long (80th percentile), and your head circumference was 16 inches (that's the 98th percentile!! LOL).  You are no longer bigger than what your brother was at the same age, except for head size, you were the same.  However, girls apparently have smaller heads because he was only 65th percentile with a 16 inch circumference.

You are such a happy, smiley little girl.  You love to see people and for them to talk to you. You will talk back & smile that beautiful smile with your sweet little dimples.

Today, you laughed at Grandma which was the very first time I have heard you laugh.  I hope it doesn't take long before you are laughing regularly :)

You love your baby gym!  You smile & coo at the lights and love to kick the little hammer that hangs from the giraffe.  You also wave your arms around, and recently it seems like maybe you are intentionally trying to hit the toys that are hanging.

You have started putting your hand in your mouth recently.  I was worried at first because you were preferring it over your paci at times, but you still want your paci when you are tired, so I don't think I have to worry about you switching.  I think you've just discovered something new and it's fun :)

You have also discovered your tongue and like to stick it out at us.  It cracks us up!

Aunt Marmar let us borrow Maryellen's swing and you seem to enjoy it.  Mommy is thankful for this as it allows me to put you someplace safe when I need to do things with Logan.  You also take some good naps in it too.

I just put you in a 3-6 month outfit today to see how it would fit and it fits you PERFECTLY.  Seriously, growing way too fast!  You have a lot of clothes in this size and I've already washed most of them, so hopefully you don't grow out of them too fast :)

 

You are still wearing size 1 diapers, but could technically wear size 2.  The 1s still fit at the moment, so I'm waiting a little longer since you get more size 1s in a pack making them cheaper :)

 

You are sleeping 6-7 hours at night.  You usually go to bed between 11 & midnight and wake up sometime between. 6-7.  You are still sleeping in your Rock N Play in our room because we still have not put curtains in your room.  We have the curtains & Daddy is getting a rod today, so hopefully they will be up soon and we will move you into your room.

We dedicated you at church on Mother's Day.  We are thankful God blessed us with you and will do our best to raise you in a way that honors God.

I feel so blessed to be your Mommy!! I am thankful God gave you to me and made me a Mommy for a 2nd time.  I love you so much and look forward to all that God has planned for you!

Love,

Abigail's Birth Story

In true second child fashion, I am just now getting around to posting this a month after our sweet girl's arrival.  I have no idea if this is complete or not, but it's what I can remember...

I'm going to warn you some of this may be too much information for some of you, however, I want to document as much as possible, as I know I won't be able to remember all the details as the years go by and I'd really love to have something to look back on.  So if you're not interested in details, then you probably don't want to read this post :)

Those of you that have been following the blog know that I've been having a fair amount of contractions since 30 weeks.  Well the 2 weeks leading up to my due date I was having even more contractions.  A few times I even thought it could be the beginnings of labor, but each time they would subside.  I started thinking maybe I was going to be pregnant forever.  Ha!

Well my due date came & went, and I kept having more signs that labor would be (hopefully) beginning soon.  At about 4:30ish the morning of the 21st I woke up with some contractions that were beginning to feel a little bit painful.  This had happened before so I wasn't sure yet, but was hopeful.  By about 4:45 I realized they were more painful and were coming fairly quickly so I started timing them.  After a few, I determined they were coming 5 minutes a part.  The time in which my doctor recommended we head to the hospital.  I woke Brandon up, then called my parents.  At this point I wasn't sure what to do about Logan.  I didn't want to wake him up, and I really hated to call my sister so early.  After talking with my parents we decided they would come, my Dad would stay, and my mom would ride with us.  My Dad would come later after we got to the hospital and determined how things were progressing.

This next part will probably make many people laugh, but when my parents arrived, I was not ready to go because I was putting make-up on.  I know, this is totally out of character for me.  However, I know with babies comes pictures, and childbirth isn't exactly the most beautiful thing, so a girl has to do what a girl has to do to feel pretty enough to allow pictures.  Ha!

 

By the time we left contractions had become about 3 minutes apart.  It took us probably 35-40 minutes to get to the hospital and when we got there they were definitely getting closer together and stronger.  I was sent to triage where they monitored and checked me.  I was between 5-6 cm.  They then checked with my doctor and I was admitted.  It was rather hectic because it was shift change time so my triage nurse had to help out who would become my labor and delivery nurse.  I wish I could remember the triage nurse's name, but my labor & delivery nurse was Jennifer.  Once I was in the room & everything was set up, my doctor came in.  I'm guessing it was around 8:15, but I honestly don't remember.  At this point I wasn't sure I wanted an epidural.  My doctor said I needed to deliver by noon because she was leaving then, and wanted to start me on Pitocin to speed things up.  Since I've heard terrible things about how bad it makes the contractions and I had not yet decided on an epidural, I said I'd rather not have it and if she wasn't the one to deliver that would be ok.  She broke my water and then left.

After she broke my water, holy cow, the pain went from manageable to ridiculous.  I then told the nurse I'd like that epidural.  However, the anesthesiologist was about to go into a C-section, so I would have to wait.  My nurse did call him to let him know we wanted him as soon as he was done.  However, within the next 30 minutes I had progressed to an 8 and things were moving so fast I realized that the likelihood of an epidural was slim.  I asked my nurse if it was too late and I don't remember exactly what she said, but I could tell from the look on her face that it was indeed too late. 

The pain only got worse from there and as much as I'd like to say I was calm and it was a piece of cake and I never screamed, that was not at all the case.  I don't consider myself a loud or dramatic person and as much as I wanted to not scream during the contracts/labor/delivery, it is just forced out of you.  I, seriously, in my head was saying "I don't want to scream, this is so embarrassing, but OMG I can't help it, it's just coming."  I remember apologizing to Brandon on multiple occasions because I was afraid I was making him uncomfortable.  I didn't want him to worry about me, I didn't want him to feel bad that he honestly could do nothing.  He was trying to be encouraging and reminding me to breath, but at one point I just couldn't take it and told him to stop breathing on me.  I tried to (at least in my head) say it in as nice a way as possible, but I honestly don't remember how it came out.  Brandon may remember it differently, but hopefully I wasn't too harsh. Ha!

Not too long after I was 8 centimeters I remember feeling like I just HAD to push.  The nurse checked me again but I was still an 8 and she told me not to push.  It was the weirdest feeling.  The baby was just pushing down and I felt like I needed to keep pushing her out.  This feeling continued until I could actually push.  It took what felt like forever, but really probably wasn't more than 30 minutes.  Finally, when I got close, they called my doctor.  We had a little problem with the last little bit of dilating as some of my cervix just wouldn't open enough, so when my doctor came she had to help Abigail past that (or at least that's what I assume, I honestly have no idea what she did).

This next part may have TMI, but I want to document it anyway (so feel free to skip it)...When my doctor arrived I told her I was worried I was going to have a bowel movement.  I was super concerned about having a bowel movement in front of my hubby & everyone, so when it was time to push, I was trying to push in a way that wouldn't allow that to happen, and I don't know why I thought I could push a baby out and hold everything else in.  After my first try pushing, my doctor looked at me and said something along the lines of "You're not doing anything.  Screaming isn't pushing.  You can't worry about a bowel movement, you've got to push and get her out."  I think she may have also said something along the lines of the baby isn't liking this (later learned the cord was wrapped around her neck like her big brother).  That got me over my fears and I just pushed as hard as I could.  At some point I did have an episiotomy and as horrible as I thought that would be it was just mixed in with all the other pain and I'm not sure I really "felt" it.  I think it took 3 contractions and then she was born.  I had forgotten that my doctor told me when my water had broken that there was meconium in my water, so NICU would have to take her right away (still in my room though) to assess her lungs to make sure none of it had gotten into her lungs. My doctor put her finger in Abigail's mouth as soon as she was born, so she wouldn't breath and possibly get some in her lungs.  But, because of this, she didn't cry when she was born and I immediately was concerned and said "She isn't crying" - about to cry myself out of worry when my doctor reminded me it was because she put her finger in her mouth and I then remembered she had told me that would happen.

While the NICU nurses/doctor/whoever assessed her, my doctor had to stitch & finish things up with me.  Last time, with the epidural, I didn't even know what was going on, but this time, unfortunately it was just more discomfort/pain.  Not as much as the labor/delivery, but still - not fun.  I just wanted to be done.  I just wanted to hold my baby.  Once the NICU assessed Abigail they determined all was well.  It was really just a few minutes before I got to hold Abigail on my chest.  At that point, all else melted away and I honestly don't remember much after that.  However, I do remember that my reaction to getting to hold her wasn't as emotional as when Logan was born.  Not to say I wasn't as happy to have Abigail, and at first I felt bad that I didn't have the same reaction, but honestly, I just think that due to the different situation, the ability to really realize and process what just happened wasn't there.  I think I was in a little bit of shock.  Ha!  It all happened so fast there wasn't really time for emotion.

After the doctor was finished with everything, I was able to nurse Abigail.  At some point, I honestly don't remember when, Brandon went to tell family that she was here.

Once we had some family time, it was time for her bath.  We invited the rest of our family in and Logan got to meet his sister.  He gave her a present and she "gave" him one as well.  He was very quiet at first, but seemed curious about her.  I'm not sure he really knew what to think.  He was definitely very interested in her when she cried though.  He would always stop what he was doing to go see her.
 

  

 

 

They did not weigh & measure her until this point and we found out she was 9 pounds 8.4 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long.  Ouch!  That explains A LOT!  Ha!  No wonder I had such a giant belly.

My father-in-law left shortly after this for work stuff and my parents left with Logan around his nap time so he could get one and not melt down.  My father-in-law came back later as he never got his turn to hold Abigail.  After, my mother-in-law went to pick up Logan & Brandon & my father-in-law went to get celebratory wings for dinner.  My Dad came back by that evening to bring us some stuff and see Abigail one more time before he had to head to East Texas for a fishing trip.  My sister, brother-in-law and niece also came to visit us that evening.  It was a long, busy, but wonderful day!

 

 

 

The first night was a little different than our first night with Logan.  He would sleep for a little while, nurse and then sleep some more.  The nurses were the ones that kept me from sleeping the first night with Logan.  With Abigail, she had a period of time where she seriously wanted to nurse for 2 hours straight.  I thought I might die.  Ha!  I called my nurse out of desperation and she recommended the pacifier and some warm blankets.  I was a little hesitant the first night to already give her a pacifier, but she had been latching fine, and I was desperate, so we gave it a try and she gave us a good 2-3 hours.  It was wonderful.  Thankfully the next time she nursed we had no problems from her use of the paci.  It is now our best friend just like with Logan.  Ha!  I also want to mention that my night nurse was Michelle and she was my favorite nurse, probably even of all the nurses I had with Logan too.  She was so very sweet, and very helpful too.

The next morning my doctor came back to check on me and she asked me if I wanted to go home or stay and of course I picked go home.  I was so glad she gave me the option again.  We just had to wait for the pediatrician to check out Abigail again and give us her approval to go home and then we'd be able to leave.  My in-laws had kept Logan for the night, and they brought him back to see us again, and my mom also came to visit.  We didn't have any other visitors as we weren't there long and our hospital isn't very close to most of our friends.

We got to leave around 4, so we spent less than 36 hours in the hospital (also random side note - they don't make you leave in a wheel chair anymore.  It was kind of weird just walking out with her, but then again, I felt weirder having to be wheeled out with Logan.  Ha!).  However, since it was a Friday, it was just in time for traffic.  Yay!  Fortunately it wasn't too terrible yet, but we still would have rather not had any.  We just wanted to be home.  It was a little weird when we got home because Logan wasn't there, and no family or friends came by, but it was also kind of nice to just have a little family time with the 3 of us.

 

 

Since it's been so long, I honestly don't remember much about our first night.  I don't think she was quite as good of a sleeper as Logan, but I do remember it was better than our night in the hospital.

It was such a crazy experience, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  It is how we got our sweet girl and she is so worth it.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat!  I love her so very much.!!  She will never really know the extent, but hopefully one day she will be a momma and have a little bit of an idea just how much I love her.